a whole lot going on.

today henry and i stayed in our cute, empty 304 apt until 6:40 pm. didn't leave the house once.

bam.

we move outta here tomorrow and that meant deep cleaning had to be done. it was a strange day, there are so many emotions going on over here. i haven't felt like this since i left home for college. a long, long, time ago. that rip your heart out kinda feeling the one that feels like a big change is about to take place. and not just any change, a new phase of life change, the kind of change that requires you to let something go in order to achieve the next step in your life. these are the hardest kinds i think.

last night as i tried to fall asleep, the tears started again, it's almost a nightly thing now, no big deal.  so i started to say a prayer, a little plea almost to help me find comfort, to help me find joy in this crazy little journey of ours but most of all to find purpose in what i am doing. purpose in motherhood and wifehood because yesterday felt like i was a diaper changin, counter washin and floor sweepin machine. those are never fun days. so today, as henry and i cleaned and cleaned and cleaned to pandora children's disney channel blasting , i was overwhelmed with gratitude for every part of my little life right now.

i am a mother.

i am a wife.

and i am honored to have those titles. i am honored that the lord would trust me with his purest, happiest, most beautiful, strong spirits to watch grow and to teach and to love. daniel is too good to me. really. henry is so beautiful, he tiny body doesn't reflect the mature and kind spirit of his. i felt like we were so connected when i was pregnant with him, and i feel blessed beyond words that i get to spend everyday with him to try and teach him the things he needs to know and to learn from him how to love and smile and find good in everyone around. and now i have little prince kicking in my tummy these days and i just can't wait for his precious soul to grace our walls. there really isn't anything i can compare the love that i have for my children (i can say that now, i've got two!!) to, being a mother is a piece of heaven i think.

so if motherhood and wifehood means that i am packin up and moving to another country, where i can support my husband as he tries to support this family of ours, if it means probably a lot of days talking baby talk with my two boys because i don't know that language to talk to anyone else, then so be it.

we are ready.

sorta.

tonight my parents took us to all you can eat (and i ate all i could eat!) crabbbb. yes, crab. it was so good. the only bad part is that my dad had the look on his face. the look that one of his little babies is leaving him. i have seen it before. too many times. every time i left to go back to school, every time a brother would leave on a mission it was this look. it's the rip your heart out look. yikes. henry watched grandma stand up to go get some crab and he cried and cried because he has to be by her side every second we are with them. he adores his grandparents. he always clings sooo tight when he thinks we might be leaving for the night, won't even look at daniel or i because he is too afraid we will take him away from grandma and grandpa.

that will be the heardest goodbye i am sure of it.

well, good. i feel better now that i wrote all that. so enjoy a couple photos from our afternoon. henry organized the almonds while i cleaned. he was so busy today, so many things to organize. 

 he is perfect, huh?