Performing at home.

sometimes motherhood and wifehood duties (all while 8 months pregnant) make me tired and a little grumpy. it's true! i get grumpy! last week and i was "getting through" the days and it at the end of the day i was sad. so friday morning as me and the boys were taking our morning rinse while blasting general conference talks, the words i was listening to made perfect sense. the speaker was talking about the music of the gospel- so good for a dancer!

"...when we can hear the music ourselves, we must try our best to perform it in our homes. It is not something that can be forced or compelled. “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood”—or by virtue of being the dad or the mom or the biggest or the loudest—“only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, … by love unfeigned; [and] by kindness”

Why would these attributes lead to increasing power and influence in a home? Because they are the attributes that invite the Spirit of the Holy Ghost. They are the attributes that tune our hearts to the music of the gospel. When they are present, the dance steps will be performed more naturally and joyfully by all of the dancers in the family, without the need for threats or intimidation or compulsion."

 so today i tried harder to be patient and enjoy the music i'm hearing right now, with my two (almost three) little buddies.

and this is me with 4 weeks to go! we can't wait to meet you, babe!

xo

happy birthday, henry!

this was while i was making brownies for your birthday. you and charles were making "chocolachieee!"

my dear henry,

just wanted to write you a little love letter. my mama heart has been so full the past two days. you turned 3! i cannot believe how fast time is flying by. i remember when i was pregnant with you, and i had just come out of a meeting telling the juilliard dance faculty that i was expecting. i was walking down the staircase to meet daniel outside. my throat had a lump in it, and my cheeks were still wet from crying. i was completely afraid, but somehow had enough faith to let the lord guide my life. as i was opening the heavy black door from the staircase into the lobby, i could almost hear your little voice. "mom, i am here. we are going to do this together." i felt your strong, valiant spirit lifting me higher. i will never forget that moment.

and now today as i sit here and write this, my face is wet with tears of gratitude for the opportunity to be your mother. i have been taught by my mother that raising children is the most divine and glorious calling we have. and i know with all my being that this is true. oh i love our life, little henry. and i am pretty certain you love it, too. you are our happy, pure, protective, smart and radiant little boy. your dad and i are more and more amazed by you every single day. so proud of the person you're becoming.

every morning you sneak into our bed and cuddle up next to me, forehead to forehead. as soon as daddy's alarm goes off- you are awake, around 6:30 am. "mommy, da sun up!" we snuggle a little more and then you always say "mom, les go make some dinner" today you wanted toast with jam, oatmeal, and chicken and rice. you got the first two;).

you and charles are so funny together. after bath time today you and charles were playing on our bed while i got ready. after a few minutes i heard you say in your little soft voice, "charly, wanna get down? i help you! come 'ere." then i hear a huge thunk followed by two screaming boys. i ran in and find you holding charles, his little legs wrapped around your waist and his arms tightly around your neck. he had completely trusted you to help him off our tall bed and you had taken the fall for the both of you as you lay on your back flat on the ground with charly on top of you.. charles was a little too heavy;)

i love you with all my beating heart. and so does daddy and of course charles, too. so happy your ours.

rambling monday

a quick update from the neeleman clan. life can be so interesting, you know? last week was t.o.u.g.h. and really hard, and lots of tears plus henry and i were sick so that made things even a bit more shadow-y. but we made it out alive, and today already seems fresher and lighter.

i am trying to eat healthier and feed my family healthy, real food. i feel this huge weight in changing habits, tastes, goals but things are changing slowly but we are making our way somewhere... i hope. daniel and i have been reading the china study together and have been swimming with information and trying to put our heads around it all. but it feels good to learn about the impact that food has on our bodies.

anyways, henry and charles are so funny. last night daniel and i walked in their room to every book from the bookshelf on the ground and all of the picture frames (that we still haven't hung) crammed into charles crib, and multitudes of kitchen utensils to help them make "chocolochieeee" as henry says and them talking up a storm to each other- their own little language, with bits of english and portugues as well. their energy is incredible! help!

daniel and i looked at each other and smiled. daniel said "their perfect, their just what we wanted. i imagine our conversation with heavenly father went something like this; so what kind of kids do you want? and we said, well we want cutie ( i love when daniel says that word) , spiritual, smart. athletic, and we want them to help a lot of people and have strong testimonies.." and heavenly father replied, "ok, well they are going to have a lot of energy when they are little and need a lot of attention...", we we said, "oh course! that's what we want!" and then he looked at me and said "we got them! their just what we wanted!"

i am so thankful to have daniel around to make all these situations that could be stressful and hard as a mother and put them in an eternal perspective. he is so good at that. i love so much the quote from conference me lift thee, and thee lift me and we'll ascend together. daniel lifts me, he really does.

p.s. this all started when daniel was at a church meeting last night and i was feeling so overwhelmed and alone and then henry, of course, pooped his pants. with tears rolling down my cheeks, i looked at him and said "henry, you can't go poo poo in your pants! it makes mommy sad! you have to go in the toilet!" (this has been an ongoing battle you guys, like, months now.) and he leans down and looks me in the eyes and with the most tender voice replies, "mommy es okay, you can get a blessing from daddy!" and then folks i really started to cry. i told daniel the story and he laughed, he said "well at least the most important lessons are sinking in, right?'

xo

my tiny green men.

 

every tuesday and thursday mornings i go and take ballet class while daniel stays with the boys. i get home around 9:30 and for the rest of the day i feel like i am behind the game. (but it is so good for my metal wellness!) i get home to an oatmeal mess on the floor, poopy diapers, half naked kids and daniel running off to work. 

last week when i got home the kids were in the hallway with dad waiting for me to get off the elevator and daniel was leaving, i sat on the hallway floor exhausted from class and already tired from my motherly tasks that were awaiting.  i watched the boys kiss daddy good-bye and then start chasing each other around our floor- our poor neighbors. henry ran to the elevator and pushed the button. the door opened and him and charles run in. the door closed. this happens more times then not so i walked over and pushed the button again-expecting the doors to open right up.

buuuut  in that 4 seconds it took me to push the button, someone from another floor had called the elevator. my boys were screaming. i mean s.c.r.e.a.m.i.n.g. so i ran to the stairwell and followed the screams. first they went up, so i ran up, but didn’t catch them. then they went down to the first level- i ran out to catch the elevator but barely missed them again. they were still screaming. i was getting tired. back to the stairwell. then the screams came out of the elevator. so i ran to the third floor (where we live) and sure enough there everyone was. in my house was a well dressed, cute outfit, nails done kind of lady holding screaming charles and henry beside her. she was trying not to step on the oatmeal all over our floor. i ran in completely out of breath. she had this look on her face like “oh.my.this.is.all.so.pathetic”, and “wait.is.she.really.pregnant.again?". she said something in portuguese like- do you let them play in the elevador by themselves?  i was too tired to try to formulate a sentence in portuguese so just smiled and said “obrigada”.  i took my screaming kids and she walked out of the door in complete disgust. the end.

a few days later while i was putting away lunch, henry climbed in the pantry and got out the food coloring. i was hurrying to get dishes done and didn't notice the complete madness that was about to go down. food coloring everywhere. they were covered. and super happy. but covered. so i thought, ok, i will get a bucket of soapy water and dump it on the deck to wash it all up. then it turned into a blue/green giant deck bath. (i don't have pictures of this part because holy cow. it was badddd.)i ran them both to the shower and put them in and started spraying them off. then henry got the sprayer and somehow sprayed me. in the face. mascara was running. got the boys out, and they were both a nice green color. i mean dyed green. their whooole bodies. but at least they weren't tracking food coloring anymore. we got the deck somewhat normal and then all went outside for a little breather. as soon as we walk out the doors, there that same lady is. the elevador lady. i have mascara all over my face, and my two boys are completely died green. she gave me the same looks and went on her way.

im not kidding you. this lady is my bad luck looker. get her out of here! 

*situations similar have happened 3 times now.
* the pictures shown are from when things were still somewhat in control. they escalated fast. 

happy thursday- friday please hurry up!

xo

oh! fernando!

last weekend we took a short trip up to fernando de noronha, brazil.

it. was. the. perfect. weekend.

the island has three thousand residents and only allows a certain amount of tourists at a time. the island is made up of the most breathtaking beaches and views that i have ever seen. the city is small and humble. the people are kind and care about the creations and creatures that surround them. i swam with a turtle that was as big as i was, a shark, and an octopus. it was incredible. there were no crowds, hardly any cell service and wide open space. sunlight, sand, and fish were all that the boys needed. they were so happy.

friday afternoon we made a hike down a really steep mountain to the most beautiful beach in the world. (that's actually the name of the beach in portugues). it kind of felt like heaven. there were a million crabs, tiny fishes, eels, snails that the boys were fascinated with. they played in the rocks and puddles the whole time. we were the only ones at the beach for the majority of the time. daniel and i ran and swan with the waves coming in, there was a stingray the was swimming right next to my anckles for a good two mintues. it was tropical peace i tell you! tropical peace!

after we climbed back up to the top we looked down to the beach we were all just swimming in and saw three huge sharks right by the shore. it was nuts. i mean, like right in the same spot we were at.

like big sharks.

the only bad part was the boat ride. we decided to go on a blasted boat ride! why! why!!! yes we did see dolphins, but no it was not fun. we were all, including baby inside me, so so sea sick. everyone felt so bad for us. i felt bad for us. it was the longest three hours of my life. but don't worry, we learned our lesson.

anyways.

lets go back.

xo