Loving them.

tonight as i was putting shoes on henry and charles, charles reached up to the higher self and pulled down his old shoes from when he was crawling. (these shoes were his absolute favorite. he was always so excited to to put them on because it meant we were leaving the house.) he pulled them down and said to me," georgie shoe, mama, georgie shoe?" i said "no charlie, those were your shoes, from when you were a baby." and then suddenly all these terrible, nostalgic, baby missing emotions came flooding in. i said "charlie, mama doesn't want you to grow up so fast." then henry looks at me, "daddy said we gonna grow up soooo fast! (he could sense the sad/worried expression i had) but, i gonna love you when i get big, ok?" and as i sat on the floor with all three boys right next to me, i felt that my heart might burst. the thought of them grown up, serving missions, getting married, leaving our little nest was almost too much for my mother heart to handle. so i pulled each one of them close and told them how much i loved them, and at that moment i felt completeness, i felt whole. i felt like that that is where i was suppose to be at that very moment with the people i was suppose to be with. 

so when i'm old and an empty nester and missing all those baby boys of mine, let it be known that on the 22nd of february 2016 i gave them every last bit of love and gratitude that i possessed. and for a few moments in our lives, everything felt completely right.